A parking industry professional reflects on his journey of recovery, growth, and redemption.
By Derek Breniman
As a young adult, alcohol and substance abuse became my escape. Although it was fun for a long time, the fun faded eventually and became only consequences. The good times were only distant memories as I found myself in an institution, wondering how I had ended up there once again. Consumed with self-deception, shame, and self-loathing, I blamed my problems on other people or society, anything besides myself. I was completely unable to accept any responsibility for my own decisions.
My life had become incredibly small. Friends had faded away during my 20s, as I worked a service industry job in a major metropolitan area where drinking and drugs are common. I found camaraderie in happy hours, industry events, and late nights, gravitating toward a crowd like me. Eventually, I crossed that invisible line where the fun ended and I had lost the ability to choose. My position as a hotel valet was the only tether I had to the real world.
Perfectly imperfect
Wabi-sabi is a Japanese term for “perfectly imperfect,” part of a tradition dating back to the 15th century that finds beauty in impermanence, imperfect things, or incompleteness. Rooted in Buddhism, wabi-sabi emphasizes accepting the transient, imperfect nature of life. It encourages people to strive for excellence instead of perfection and to appreciate the beauty of things that are “flawed” or “unfinished” — two terms that both describe me.
The wabi-sabi concept has helped me enormously as I’ve continued on my path to recovery. Being a work in progress allows me to be wrong and broken and enables me to ask others for help.
To address any problem, one must acknowledge and accept that a problem exists. For many years I was unable to do this. Even after the fun of going for drinks after work with hotel friends had vanished, my disease continued to lie to me. Although I had been to treatment multiple times before, I remained unable to admit that my life was going nowhere. Ego and pride continually told me, “It wasn’t that bad,” or “I can drink like a normal person.”
The only thing I could take credit for was messing up my life so badly that my ego and pride eventually weakened to the point that I could ask for help. Finally, as I sat utterly deflated in another institution, something was different.
After countless vain attempts to quit on my own or drink like other people, I discovered a 12-step program inside an institution. This was my lifeline that would eventually guide me toward recovery and transformation of my life. I am beyond grateful for my job in parking with an employer that stood behind me and allowed me to take care of myself. I was honest about my issues, and my employer allowed me to take medical leave.
Finding purpose, growth, and connection in parking
In the parking industry I strove to build an environment where transparency was valued. Open communication fostered trust among colleagues. Sharing my journey of recovery with my parking colleagues created a bond that transcended the workplace. When I became open with others in the industry about my struggles, I found others sharing similar histories. Whereas I previously felt completely alone, I realized that I was not after being transparent with my story.
Because the disease of alcoholism thrives in darkness and deceit, being honest and open offered a way to overcome this dysfunction. When I was honest and open with others, I found many with similar stories. We were everywhere. The parking industry is full of people from all walks of life. If you are open to looking, we are willing to talk, willing to help, and are available for those in need.
Honesty, accountability, humility, and discipline in the workplace have immense power: They create a culture where everyone feels valued and respected, enabling trust to inform all interactions. I used to run from conflict, avoiding uncomfortable situations. With growth, I learned that resolution lies on the other side of conflict. When handled appropriately, conflict is healthy. Today, I can approach conflict with love and compassion instead of verbal abuse or anger. In the workplace, encouraging authenticity and transparency among employees leads to innovation, because individuals are not afraid to voice their ideas or concerns. This is trust in action.
In the early years of my career, what I said and what I did were often two completely different things. Eventually, I realized that my actions and intentions needed to align. Today, living a life of accountability, I have found that doing what I say I’m going to do is paramount.
This approach to life and work enabled me to grow my career in parking. There are always areas to improve if we are open to humility. Honestly looking at projects and procedures and striving for a spirit of continual improvement enabled me to see every operational gap or system inefficiency not as a setback, but as an opportunity for growth, innovation, and continual improvement.
Moving forward through service
Looking back with 13 years of continuous sobriety, I am grateful for my journey and the parking industry. My past has made me uniquely qualified to help others. The principles learned through the 12-step program have given me a new direction, one of service to others.
Becoming a spiritual mentor at an institution, a downtown shelter, and multiple treatment centers has enabled me to share my experience with individuals seeking hope and guidance. Having been there too, I could show them a way out. If you, or someone you know, is struggling with alcoholism or substance abuse I encourage you to contact me. Help is available and there is a solution.
Today, I am a father and partner in a family that has never seen me drink or do drugs. I can confidently say that embracing an existence based on spiritual principles has transformed every aspect of my life.
As I reflect on my journey from a troubled young adult to where I am today, I am deeply grateful for the lessons learned along the way and the community I’ve found within the parking industry. The parking industry has provided me with a foundation on which to live a life of honesty, accountability, and service to others. The industry had my back when I was completely lost, and every day I try to pay back that debt.
Derek Breniman is the vice president of business development for HONK. He can be reached at derek@honkmobile.com.
