Park Here – You will be Fined, Arrested, and Jailed


Park Here – You will be Fined, Arrested, and Jailed

One of the members of the IPMI asked its forum for help in designing a sign to communicate its parking rules to its customers. They sent in this sign which is not finalized to be used as a place to start:

I get the feeling that I best not be parking here.. It certainly isn’t welcoming, doesn’t give the parker any kind of a warm feeling, and frankly tells me that I don’t want to park there and that you don’t want me to park there.

The First line tells me no trespassing, so how am I going to park there without trespassing.  The last line threatens me with citations or jail time. Wow!

Let me give it a try:

Welcome to the Downtown Parking Facility

To make your stay safer and more pleasant, keep the following in mind:

  • We provide the space, you provide the car. You are responsible for what happens to your property. Be sure to lock your car and keep your personal items out of sight.
  • Watch out for pedestrians, drive really slow (10 mph). Remember you will be walking here too as soon as you park your car. We want you to be safe.
  • If you have a trailer or your vehicle is longer than 20 feet, please park in our surface lot outside. This structure was designed for those of us with smaller vehicles.
  • Prove you are an excellent driver – be sure you park between the lines so you can open your doors and get out of your car with ease. We know you know where not to park.
  • Respect our Handicapped spaces, someday that could be you.
  • Save gas money. Keep idling to a minimum.
  • Be forward thinking, point your car into the space.
  • Keep your party animal under control, and your alcohol and armaments, too. If you want to party hardy, park here, and take your group outside. There’s a great park just up the road for you skaters, scooter and bike riders. This garage was designed for motor driven vehicles and skates and bikes are a no no.
  • The local constabulary will be around checking out how you are doing. Give them a smile and they will smile back. Keep the above in mind so they don’t have to go to all the trouble of writing a ticket or calling a tow truck.

OK, it might be a little folksy, but you get the idea. Signs like this attract attention, the one above is usually ignored. (remember the speed limit sign at the mall that says ” 7 MPH.”) I understand your lawyer won’t like this but have her write what she wants and put it in fine print at the bottom. They love fine print.


Picture of John Van Horn

John Van Horn

2 Responses

  1. I like switching everything to the positive, but there are too many words. How about:
    * Lock your car
    * Drive slowly (10 mph) & let walkers go first
    * Park long vehicles and ones with trailers somewhere else
    * Park between the lines, head first
    * Park in handicap spaces only if you have a disability placard
    * Turn off your engine after you’ve parked
    * Leave guns and alcohol at home

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