Parking “Ninjas”

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Parking “Ninjas”

PT first noticed this phononmeaa at Eastern Washington last year. Read our article here.

Here’s a current email received at Boise State:

As an MBA graduate student and general parking pass holder, I will provide = a couple observations for consideration.

Today I parked in a reserved spot at 4:52PM.

*Strategic Differentiation*

*Professional Ninjas:* The prowess and cunning of the parking officers is pretty amazing. He or she had time to realize my sticker was not a reserved sticker, but a general sticker; calculate the time he or she had to get the ticket written (in this case less than 8 minutes), pull out the little portable computer of scorn, type my license plate in, print, and plant the ticket with – I’m sure – a sly smirk. As rapidly as this had to have happened, I’m surprised I didn’t see, hear, or smell the officer. I couldn’= t have been more than an inch away from the car.

*Strict adherence to policy:* As a general parking pass allows its bea= rer to park in a reserved spot after 5PM, your highly trained ninja officers stick to the letter of the law. General pass? 8 minutes before 5pm? Should = I give the ticket? HELL YES!!! Admirable!

*Sound Economic Logic*

$112.50 per hour potential revenue from one reserved spot: At 15.00 pe= r ticket for an 8 minute infraction, I conservatively calculate your potentia= l revenue for one reserved spot to be $1125 per day. That’s nearly a quarter million per year assuming your ninjas work on Christmas; which on second thought, is a no-brainer. I hate to think what your potential revenue would be at a 1 minute or 30 second infraction. As noted above, your people can certainly handle this kind of speed and accuracy.

*Additional thoughts*

*MBA*: My choosing to return to school to pursue an MBA was; lets face it, to make more money. At roughly 60K per year, my research leads me to expect a 25 to 30% salary increase when I finish. Roughly 75 to 80K on the conservative side. My plan is to start my own company when I finish in the technology sector to increase my chances at making a bit more – perhaps 100 to 150K. I hadn’t even considered the parking infraction industry, but my experience today tells me the potential revenue is HUGE. Using the above rough estimates, one spot for a two year time investment is nearly 1 Millio= n gross. Forget entrepreneurship. The secret is in 6 X 12 pavement.

*Extrinsic de-motivation*: If the rationale is to generate income for = the university to provide better facilities to attract more students, you have certainly illustrated strength in at least two of these. Were I to use your logic however; I would: invite a customer into my store, have him pay an expensive cover fee, make him sweep and clean while patronizing, force him to purchase premium products that I select, make him bring his own shopping cart, charge him for pushing his cart in my store, and have him kicked in the junk by heartless ninjas when he turns to look at what’s on sale next week. Then I would smile and tell him to be sure and bring his friends and remember me when he leaves. I might even send him a mailer from time to tim= e with a beautiful scene; a river and green space; perhaps smiling bright faces; some inspirational tag on the front like: “Learning Lives on the River”, or, “Remember to Support Your Future.” On the back I might include = a petition to submit a few extra bucks to help fund more pay-dirt pavement acquisition.

I think I’ll stick to entrepreneurship in the ninja-free technology sector.


 

John Van Horn

John Van Horn

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