Random Thoughts


Random Thoughts

Why does my car run better after its been to the car wash? Does I know that I care and therefore feels better about itself, or is it because it looks better and is strutting a bit?

A buddy of mine just returned from a cross country road trip and says he knows where the stimulus money has gone. It paid for millions and millions of traffic cones. He says they are everywhere, and there is no obvious construction going on.

Daylight Saving Time is absurd. It’s going to change this weekend. Some say that it was originally put in place for the farmers. I find that farmers hate it most. Cows don’t care what time it is and need to be milked when they are ready. It’s just another way the government gets into our lives and then nott let go.

What is different about the battery technology going into electric cars and that in my cell phone. After a while it doesn’t hold a charge as long. Are cars going to be different, or are we going to have to go to Radio Shack and get a new battery for our cars, too?

Did you know that the best thing to get road film off your windshield is Coke. Not the diet kind, but the full bore, 100% classic coke. Don’t believe me – next time it rains, take some coke and pour it on your windshield, wipe it around a bit with a rag, and then go for a drive in the rain. Hint: Don’t do it unless it’s raining hard, or you will have a real sticky mess on your hands.

I don’t think Pepsi works.

Why is it that dogs can drink out of a toilet and never get sick, but if you did you would most likely end up in the hospital?

Why is it easier to park parallel when the driver is on the side furthest from the curb than the other way? You are always on the furthest side you say? Not on one way streets.

Did you ever notice that when you have to be up for an early flight you always wake up before your alarm goes off, but it you didn’t set the alarm you miss your plane?

Do cars today get vapor locks? My dad’s old Model A seemed to get one when it was hot, or was it when it was cold.

Speaking of that Model A. We pulled the head on that sucker and ground the valves, changed the plugs, and replaced the gaskets. I have a six year old car and have never opened the hood – the garage changes the oil.

Did you know that the battery on a 1980 BMW is under the back seat? I didn’t either and was really surprised when I had to jump the sucker… You can put the jumper cables on a certain post under the hood, as long as you know where the post is located.

That’s like the old story of the guy who had a Volkswagen beetle thet wouldn’t start so he looked under the hood. He called his friend who also had a beetle and said “someone stole my engine.” The friend’s response: “That’s OK; I have a spare in the trunk.”

The neatest car I’ve seen lately is the Audi R8 10 cylinder sports car. The engine is just behind the driver and you can look through the rear window and see it. I was talking to an owner of one these marvels the other day and mentioned that it cost more than my house. He told me to sell my house, it was worth it.




Picture of John Van Horn

John Van Horn

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